Wednesday, April 17, 2013

Self reflect

I am 25 this year.
Yet I am unemployed.
Have no working experience.
Currently in my last semester of my master,but it seems like I have to add another semester as my dissertation is a total mess.(InsyaAllah,try my very best to end it this semester.But the whole going-to-the-lab thing is dragging.I'm not a lab type of person.I hate the numerical modelling by using some very hard programe that i never even heard of...PFC2D,have u heard of it?? if yes,I need your help doing the coding..
Oh!and I have to go to other faculty lab to borrow their so WTH!
Why did i choose that title for my dissertation in the first place.its like digging my very own grave.I know its not good to sigh.But...*DEEP SIGH)
I spent most of my 24 hours doing the same thing..wake up-send brother to school-send brother to college-send baba to work-spend a few hours at home-pick brother from school-pick brother from college-night.
Yup!the same thing everyday.
Sometimes, I sit back...well,I lied,not sometimes but most of the times.Instead of going to the laboratory and do my research,i sit back and reflect on my life.*deep sigh*
I feel like this is my biggest mistakes.I'm digging my own grave.Why!
I should have choose something that suit me.
If life have a uturn or I can turn back time,FOR SURE I'll change everything.

And now here I am.Its a do-or-die situation.There is no way out...By hook or by crook I have to finish my study.And I think,i cant make it this semester.its all too late.Extend?? *deep sigh*

One month from now I have to submit my dissertation report,and I have no confidence of finishing it on time.I havent even start doing my experiment.Yup! I dont blame anyone else.Blame it on myself.My fat-ass are just so lazy.I admit it.I'm a slow learner and super lazy.Dah lah slow,nak lazy lagi.

How am I suppose to tell mama and baba that i cant finish my study this semester.what a waste of their money.pity em.
I pity my parent the most.How unfortunate of them to have a daughter and a firstborn that they cant rely on.Sad :(

I feel like crying as i'm blogging right now.omg!