25,umarried,childless and JOBLESS

Today I open up my facebook as usual and I stumbled upon a post of a friend.
The post catched my attention...it link to this site..

26, unmarried, and childless

the post hit me right on my face.EXACT situation.
but she have a job and I AM JOBLESS and i still live with my parents.
Oh the author is the youngest of her sibling while I am the oldest.

Mama have started nagging about my life.everyday,everymorning.
When mama start nagging,I'll be really quiet for like one day.
I try my best not to spend my mama and baba much.Well, I haven't ask them for allowance for the pass 3 months.
And now I am totally broke.haish.
What a life.

Oh,I am single for sure.
Even both of my younger brother have brought home their girlfriend and meet mama.Hahahaa...Siap bawak keluar makan and whatnot lagi.
Its ok. its the qada' and qadar that Allah have planned for me. Everything happen for a reason.
God won't give you more than you can handle. I am strong oh jyeah!

And for now,I just pray so hard that I'll manage to finish up my dissertation that is so hard.

Its going down down down

Alah!
Mama can't help,
Baba can't...
adik-adik can't..
no one can..

wuargh!!!!!!!!so sad to hear it from mama just now.
Such a sad news.

I'm so left out!!
Feel isolated!


"Bukan nye keluar exam pun benda tu,lupa kan je"..

Mama don't understand.


Gotta make a backup plan.


Bye!!


Got a long way to go!

Its a puzzle.

Yesterday…100117..

The day when the hatred inside me and BaiSingh grew!

And it keeps growing.

I hate to have to hate people.

Get it??

Hate to hate people.But this time I can’t control myself.The hateness grows inside of me.

I hate my self for hating other people.

…The hate-hate thing is the first issue..

…second issue is that…

Why is it that the guy I adore are getting cuter day by  day?Why??Why??

What is so good about you that I feel as if I am attached to you??ugh!!!hate it!

When I like something,it takes time for me to hate it.

The person that I hate to hate is a friend to the guy that I hate to have feeling for.Ugh!!

I'M CURRENTLY DIGGING MY OWN GRAVE.

FUCK OFF AND YOU DONT HAVE TO MAKE UP STORY TO BE SORRY.IT MAKE ME FEEL DAMN LOW.FUCK YOURSELF OFF!

Ibarat...

Ibarat murid tanpa cikgu,
Ibarat anak kecil tanpa ibu,

Ibarat ikan tanpa air,
Ibarat manusia tanpa oksigen,

Ibarat dunia tanpa matahari.

How do I live without you??

Aww man!!dah lama tak emo-emo macam ni.Owh well,I'm down right now,totally!!!the solution??

Balik rumah lah.yeah!

Emo-di-tengah-hari

Haish...
Gila apa,turun dari tingkat 4 blok C5,then naik tingkat 2 blok C8.
Dengan barang Mint yang sangat banyak.So adalah dah 5 trip Mint ulang alik.

Apahal Mint pindah bilik??

Well,bilik kat tingkat 2 C8 tu,not even my room.My real room kat tingkat 2 C5 ok.
I have to tumpang bilik Su,because my bilik tak siap lagi.
Memang Mint banyak lah mencarut masa angkat barang tadi.Like HELLO!! yang pergi bagi budak short sem bilik tak siap apa hal??!!!...Haish,nak cakap bodoh macam tak baik,and nak cakap pandai macam tak je.Its common sense kut!!!!

Note to roomate Soella::Sorry lah,mint terpaksa letak barang kat bilik korang.dah penuh dah kat tengah bilik korang dengan barang Mint.

Nanti after cuti seminggu,I kena angkat lagi bwk masuk bilik yang betul.

Haish..piggy btul ar!!!

I love sun-tanned

True!
I hate rainy days.

Whenever it rains,there this one kind of feeling creep into my heart.BELONGING!..
I hate that feeling.

But rain in the early morning while I was sleeping is a special case then.

I hate rain!...

I love Rain (Bi)...hahahahha

p/s:Is there such feeling as belonging??If not, it sound just nice to what I feel anyhow.ahahhaha...

Hari Ini dalam Sejarah

Weih!...hari lain pun bosan juga,tapi entah kenapa hari ni memang hari yang membosankan tahap kritikal.

Jumlah biskut yang Mint consume hari ni,dah nak hampir sama dengan jumlah oksigen yang disedut.(ahhahaha...hiperbola,tp siyesly,every 3 minit,ternampak biskut then makan)...

Bosan makan,sapu bilik..
then jalan slow-slow pergi rendam baju...makan cheezels pulak,2-3 biji then cheezels macam masin sangat so stop.

Aish...then baring2 sambil baca cleo...GILER BOSAN!!!

Study??Cuba tapi tak berjaya.

Nak basuh baju yang direndam,tapi tiba-tiba hujan turun dengan lebat.Ada pulak orang cakap gila sebab basuh baju tengah hujan lebat.So tak jadi.

Yang internet connection pulak lembab gila kan,macam nak mintak nyawa.
HELLO!!!!yesterday Mint nak bukak UrbanDictionary pun kena block.Oh so what??we're the rural people ke??wth lah.
Block because target class:adult and we're the category:UMP student.
Come on lah,we are matured enough to differentiate what is good and bad.So tak payah lah nak block and whatever nonsense. Even my baby brother yang 5 years old kat rumah tengok cartoons kat YouTube.
Lame lah orang yang buat idea block-block ni!!Whats the good point of it anyway??

For Real.TT

I think I'm more less is becoming a refugee.
Whats a refugee??

REFUGEE LAW:

Under international law, refugees are individuals who:(how this point is related to me)

• are outside their country of nationality or habitual residence; (oh yes,for like 1and half month they expect me to "tumpang" other people room)
  
• have a well-founded fear of persecution because of their race, religion, nationality, membership in a particular social group or political opinion; and
• are unable or unwilling to avail themselves of the protection of that country, or to return there, for fear of persecution.(I'm not being fear of persecution or whatever,BUT I'm so emo that other people get to happily clean their room earlier and they get to tidy up their things and everything!!!and I have to "tumpang" other people room to put all my things and FUCK, I don't get to tidy up my things like other people did)

Of all people,why me??
And those staff couldn't even think of a solution for me,or just give me the chance to stay in my room till my new room is ready! its not like you are paying my hostel fees,and..."barang banyak tak??"...HELLO!!!!!my room is the place I do everything,so for sure I have banyak barang,or wait?Ke dulu masa you belajar,you bawak satu beg jer untuk setahun??....
"kalau barang banyak,tumpang lah bilik kawan",you think what???my kawan room are all near me?!!Like Hell lah!...

"perabot semua tak sampai lagi,bla..bla..."...Oh I tak dengar because I was so lazy to listen to what she's mumbling.If the room are not ready yet,then why in the world did you give me the room???Oh wait,you just randomly pick peoples room right??,alah...I bet my baby brother can do your job,if it was just picking names and putting it anywhere you want.If you are a little clever,a little,I obly ask for a little not much,you should do an extra job of searching,which student is taking Short-semester and put these students names in rooms that can be use straight away.

"So I takpayah check out boleh?"..."eh tak boleh,sebab last day untuk check out 23.."..
Eh bitch,I know that 23 is the last day.But I'm asking because my case is one-of-a-kind!!!..its not like you loose your salary if you just let me stay in my room without checking out!!fuck lah!!


::So damn emosi::
This is why I prefer to blog in my Lala-mode rather than reality-mode.

I wish...

Waktu-waktu macamni,Mint berangan ada seseorang yang protektif.
Protektif macam Edward in Twilight.I just wish.....

Don't they know that throwing paper balls is such a LAME thing to do?
Bet they can't differentiate between what is lame and what is not.




p/s;Anyone want someone to tag along to Rihanna concert?????*blink*blink*
Rihanna is coming

Take a bow with Rihanna in KL next month

I found a new BIATCH!

semester nie start dengan bahagia..
semua happy2...bahagia..senyum-senyum..gelak-gelak.
kerja pun semua perfect,siap.

But not until today.
I found someone.Yang selama nie berlakon macam pari-pari yang baru tiba dari syurga,Senyum nak nampak innocent,Muka nak suci je kan.
Tapi hari ni I see her true colours.She's a B_I_T_C_H

Me and my friend,we are so tak berpengalaman and macam sengal-sengal dan suka buat kerja yang diberi secara relax.
Tak pernah tergopoh-gapah,tapi kerja last minute tu normal lah kan.

Tapi semenjak that bitch datang,macam apa jer.
Memula nak tolong kitaorng yg sengal nie.Memang suci gila cara dia cakap,baik sangat.Tapi tetiba dia pulak mengeluarkan kata-kata yang menggambarkan, kononnya beban tugasan nie semua kitaorng serahkan kat dia.

We only ask for your GUIDE!!
Bukannya suruh kau buat sorang!!!tak fahamke?kitaorng yang muda dari kau pun faham je.selama ni kitaorng buat kerja relax tapi siap on time jugak.Argh...

Let by Gone Be By Gone

Keburukan menggunakan hp touch screen..

Lepas tunjuk sms si dia pada Rara,terus letak hp dlm my bag.
And setengah jam kemudian....
INBOX EMPTY

WTH!!!!????

Masa I letak hp tu dlm bag mungkin autolock belum lock the screen,jadi mungkin masa I berjalan the hp bergerak and tertekan DELETE ALL.

Gila frustrated!!
Macam all the sms yang I sayang,and of course lah I sayang kalau I dah simpan bertahun-tahun.
All the memories have been deleted.
Dan yang paling terkilan sekali ialah,sms dulu-dulu bersama Liew Kit Kong turut terdelete.Yup that Kit Kong yang main bola for Malaysia tu.

Memang macam unbelivable bila tgk my inbox empty.SHIT!!!....

Sms from si A,B,C,D....wargh...why!why!.

The good side of it...lupakan apa yang dah berlalu,Teruskan hidup.maju ke depan.
jangan fikir kan benda yang dah berlalu.
So I'm going to start fresh all over again!

Dahlah,taknak fikir pasal sms yang dah takde ni.Benda dah jadi nk buat mcmmana kan.Redha dan pasrah je lah.Mesti ada hikmah kut,,hahahha

Rara...u ingt kan apa yg he wrote in da sms???nnti klu i lupa u ingt lah..ahhaha

Cukuplah sedey.Fikir pasal benda yang happy plak.

TODAY BALIK KL!!!
Sekarang pukul 1248....bas pukul 130pm.Yeay..less than 1 hour i akn balik..Huhuu...
And kebetulan masa I balik KL.
Esok KAMI Gig Tour kat kuantan.Too bad lah I balik KL,lagipun kalau tak balik bukannya i ada kwn nk pegi.
Kalau ada pun si Rara tu je lah yang layan benda mcmnie.next time eh rara..hehehe.

Kaylah.nak pack barang-barangku.

FRESH START!

Malaysia Is where i called home

gambar masa kat tengah jalan di survey camp!.Random pic!


hahaha...title takde kena mengena dengan entry.Gambar pun takde kena mengena.


Sangat lah panas di Malaysia ini,semalam and hari ini.
And my favourite word for this 2 days is,"Panasnya Malaysia".
Memang tak tipu,panas sangat sampai my face ada all this little tiny bump mcm rashes.Rashes ke??
whatever.
haha

Hari ni Rabu,dan kelas tamat pukul 1pm.So yeah !Free!Plus cricket at 4 cancel dan ditangguh ke hari ahad pukul 8 pagi.
Hari Ahad ni,pukul 8 pagi aku masih lagi dengan bahagianya tidur di atas katil dlm bilikku di RAHplaza Kg Bharu.
HAhahhaha..too bad...I dah beli tiket awl2.So sorry cricket.

Back to the story.SGT PANAS!!!Bukan main-main tau,memang sangat panas sampai my hair scalp is sweating all the time.And nak tak nak I kena cuci my rambut everyday.
Sorry hair.

Takpelah.kan orang cakap.Tuhan kadang-kadang bagi balasan dosa kecil kat dunia,so mungkin sekarang tuhan tengah bagi feel what its like to be in hell.
Hahahh...and I'm so sure neraka is WAY hotter than this.

Note to myself: Bertaubat lah..

Sekarang ni,ramai kawan-kawan ku dah mula menjadi blogger. Cool!
And today I found 2 friends of mine yang ada blog...
Si Anna and si Soella.
(not their real name)..

p/s:lagi 2 hari nak jumpa famili!!!!!

I'm fat!!

Well, I haven't been jogging for the several past days,and today.....I CAN'T FIT INTO MY HIPSTER!!

Fuck lah wei, how to fit into Forever21 in 1 year time.
At first so semangat,now mcm the semangat berkurang lah.
As I said earlier, I have a goal, but my friend just wanna diet in a sense she just wanna lose some weight.Wargh....

Yesterday and today.There are no homework,just had to do same lab report.And I spend the whole weekend doing it. Why??
Because I'm so damn blur,and I have no guidance doing it, Do it all by myself. Well my group mates do help me, but just like 20% of it..ahhahah...crapping like hell because I still have to finish one more report! Damn fuck lah.tired oledi.

Lion King!!!

Hari ini Mama tiba-tiba sakit.So takda orng nak drive me to the hairdresser tuk buat rebonding.
And esok pulak hairdresser tutup.
So, I only going to buat rebonding bila the next cuti comes!

Kena lah bersabar dgn rambut ini.Bersyukur dengan apa yang ada.

Barang-barang semua belum kemas lagi,baru letak baju yang nak dibawa ke tepi dan dilonggok kan....sangat malas nak mula kemas...

Argh..tak mau kemas!!!tak mau balik...SAY TAK NAK!!

My hair now.............................................

































































































































exactly looks like Lion owhkay!!!!wargh.....

Fate!

I studied my construction like hell!
I re-read the questions that the lecturer gives like many times!
But hell yeah!none of it came out.
Damn frustrated.I was so confident entering the examination room.
In the end, I put on my Logic hat on.Answered all the questions based on what I think its logic.

Is it fate?or I need to trust no one when it comes to exam,and study everything??

There are 2 groups of lecture. Group A and B.
I'm in group A.My lecturer MrA,teaches us well.He gave assignment,test,quizzes and spot question.
Group B,lecturer MrB.Even his students doesn't know what he teache (because he does not teach) and they don't have to do assignment,quizzes,tests.And they have the answers of today final exam way before they enter the room!...so??Obviously they are able to answer all the question just now!...FCUK!

Everyone in Group A are complaining. Hello!!!Its final ok,and you guys have all the answer so fuck off.They don't even share it with us.TAMAK!nak berjaya sorang2!..

But I think positively.FUH!..

One down.Three to go.

I did not even open my survey book today because the mood to study are not there.Bet that I'm so frustrated with constructions paper.

Celica Toyota!!

"Mama,i dah smpai UMP"
"So jadi balik tak"
"Tak.all my friedns penat,no one to send me to town.NAK BALIK!"
"So,how?"
"Ntah.Tak Jadi lah kut"

Fuck.I desperately nak balik.Nak pergi hantar baba esok and I wanna spend my study week at home!!

How I wish,I got a driving license now.Fuck,so gotta go and take the license.
If ada license,I'm so gonna have my toyota celica.So,senang lah kalau nak balik.tak payah nak harap on other people.

"I will buy you Toyota Celica,if you go and do your driving license",Baba once said that.

Wargh!!!!Nak hantar baba esok!!!!!

"Hello,ba"
"So you balik tomorrow morning?"
"Nope,tak kut"
"Mm...ok.Tomorrow baba nak pergi dah tau"
"Erm...adik2 ada?(nak cover up my real intention of calling)"
"Dorang kat umah,nnti baba suruh dorang call"
"M...."
"So tak balik nak study lah nie"
"Ya...(taknak!!!nak ikut!!)"
"Ok..tomorrow I'll call you before I pergi"
"Mmm.."

How i wish::
1)I have my driving license and the car
2)I have a driver to pick me up ANYTIME!!!



Just get back from Bakti Siswa,how I felt like Angelina Jolie,being surrounded by those orang asli kids.Took MANY pics!..

EMO!

Hate it when it comes!

For the last few days, I act weird.

I feed myself like a pig!
I'm so emo only God knows how!(for sure emo w/out a reason)
I'm so lazy!
I get pissed off easily!

And yesterday I get the answer...It's because of PMS.

Every month,before the "time" comes, I'll get my PMS and I always blog about it.
Usually I will get a massive headache,but this time, I act like a PIG!!..
Non-stop eating,sleep like don't wanna live anymore,pissed off at everything happens around me and I even hate my Tboy!..wuuuu....

Yesterday was the first day,and I slept like a pig!..i woke up today at 1pm..WHOA!!at that time it was already half of the day for others while my day just began.

I gotta change!!!

Commit suicide??

I'm so sure about one thing and..I'M getting FATter!!!

Argh i hate being fat and chubby n everything.But the problem is that i love to eat!

Now, i have a bottle of panadol and Coke.

I can eat up all the panadol and drink the coke and...I'll ruin my own life...

Or i can do it the easy way because i also have Mentos Mint with me...Mentos+Coke=ByebyeWorld!

Heh!.then i control myself,think of GOD,family,friends and the people i love.And i won't be killing myself because I don't want to go to HELL!..i need to do more good deed so it can payback all the wrong things that i've done.

OMG!!i can't believe that i plan to kill myself just because I'm getting fatter and stress with everything around me.

People who know me wouldn't believe that it is me blogging. In the real world I'm a "happy-goody-nerdy girl" and this girl don't even care about what people says.
But when I'm blogging, its is from the soul that is trapped in the body belongs to me.

About me: An evil trapped inside an angel body.

That is what i always type when there is an "about me" section. I never realized till now that it is so true!!

Kenapa?

Kenapa perempuan bila ada lelaki dia berubah?

Kenapa kawan-kawan bila sedih,aku rasa bersalah?

Kenapa aku tak pernah panggil diri aku ni kawan yang baik?

Kenapa aku tak pernah nak cakap terima kasih kat mama dgn baba depan2?

Kenapa aku nie kadang2 suka membenci diri sendiri?

kenapa aku bersemangat nak blog,tapi tak tau nak type apa?

kenapa aku tak bersyukur dengan apa yang aku ada?

Kenapa aku tak penah terfikir yang ada orng lagi malang dari aku?

Kenapa aku nie macam pentingkan diri sendiri?
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

*keadaan kebosanan+tension